Camelot's Clean Slate

 A Clean Slate

 (Note Arthur is known by another word Kris-taan; it means 'noble heart)

“What is it Arthur?”

“Why do you think something is wrong Merlin?”

“Normally you only look that pensive contemplating how to deal with an enemy or whether or not you're being an idiot.” Arthur tensed and looked at me as if I'd insulted him. “You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known Arthur. And sometimes you wonder if someone is using that to led you into chaos...into disaster. You are NOT an idiot and no one would ever think that of you. It's...actually one of 2 thoughts that would never cross anyone's mind. When you do get that look on your face; thoughtful, searching, wondering if you're being an easily misled fool....I...I know what it looks like.”

“Well you are quite right Merlin, I am wondering if I'm being an easily misled fool. And I'm wondering if you're the one who's been misleading me.” Slowly Arthur stood up. He lifted his sword to my chest. I froze in place. “In the name of anything that means something to you, answer me honestly: Are you Emrys?”

“How do you even know that name?!” I said quickly. “I mean, I am, I don't deny it but...How?”

“Then I am taking you to stand trial. But first tell me, why keep yourself to these parlor tricks?”

Suddenly I had the feeling Arthur had gotten something very wrong.  "Arthur, you are vulnerable right now, in this state and it is easy to  put the pieces of your life together in order to make sense of this. I do not believe you could have come to this conclusion...put the pieces together and come up with this picture on your own. Arthur, please consider..at least the possibility that someone has put the pieces together for you...in all the wrong places. Without your memory, you can't tell friend from foe, you can-not tell the difference. Something I honestly just now saw for myself.”

“Stop playing games!” Arthur actually barked at me. “Stop talking in circles. Tell me what's going on. And start making sense for the first time since I've know you!”

“Arthur, 'the first time I knew you' was six years ago. And we started out merely tolerating and just being there for each-other as we should. Over time I became as close to you as your knights, and you have been...You mean more to me than words or thoughts could express. It took four years of us being by each-other's sides before you called me a friend. And not wanting to ruin that, I kept my powers a secret. I didn't want you to think of me...how you apparently think of me right now, as a traitor and a liar. We mean more to each-other than reason or position would dictate. You're not furious that I'm a sorcerer...it isn't that I have magic, I've shown you my abilities since the accident. You hate me because I am Emrys. I mean...that's what you're accusing me of, nto being a sorcerer but being Emrys. What do you mean? What, or who do you think Emrys is?”

“The most powerful Sorcerer in the five kingdoms, and one of the darkest souls in this kingdom. A life hidden, shrouded in mystery and loneliness, trying to bring down the kingdom.”

“You're describing Morgana Arthur, not me..”

“..You know her?” Arthur cocked his head. He seemed thoroughly caught off guard.

“And so do you Arthur, you were raised side by side with her. She was your father's ward. No one knew at the time but she was also...IS also your half-sister. She has powerful magic...and is consumed with darkness. She took revenge on your father, dethroned him and seized the throne of camelot for herself once. Ever since the two of us and 5 of our closest friends dethroned her, she is obsessed with 'taking back what is rightfully hers'. She won't accept kindness, only help. She even told me once that she understands loyalty, even though she has no one left to be loyal to. But I think she's a little off the mark on that. She understands what friends will do for each-other and how people can make the wrong choice for loyalty...

...But she's forgotten what it feels like to have a friend you hold so dear you would kill or die for. She only wants people to be loyal to her...And doesn't remember the feeling.” Arthur's hand gripped the hilt tighter and shoved the tip of his sword to my throat. I started shaking, I started weeping. But I decided if I was going to die anyway, not to hold back, so I kept going. “She doesn't know what it feels like to hold someone else as more important than yourself. Which is a part of my life I enjoy every day: Friends, people who care about me, who I'd run into a burning building or a knowing trap for. We all would for each-other. Sir Leon, Sir Percival, Sir Elyan. Gwaine you and I.  That's what makes us friends, it's what makes us strong. Arthur, you have three great friends who would march into the mouth of hell for you. Lancelot and Gwaine are warriors and friends you gave the title and honor of knighthood, though the law of the land said they could never achieve that honor, they earned it anyway. knights. You've never called on me for that kind of bravery...but that's what makes it beautiful: you've never had to. Believe me when I say I would die for you Arthur. And I will if I have to. Even if it is at your hand I will happily die for you!”